Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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