i would punch a child for taco bell
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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