Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
