His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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