Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
