I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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