It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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