walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
