Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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