I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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