Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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