I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
