Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
