He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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