the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
