well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize