i only shaved half my leg
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.