Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
