its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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