Will you blow on my dice?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
