My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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