I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
