You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
