So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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