what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
