I'm eating all of the evidence.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
