Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
NoShamevember. You game?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
