are you still at the devil's house?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
