You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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