Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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