North Korea, Best Korea!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
