The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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