Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize