I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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