Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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