i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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