You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
