so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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