She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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