He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
