I am puke
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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