just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize