Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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