okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
