as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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