she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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