Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize