you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize