my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
