This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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