suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
