make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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