I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
