ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
