eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
