as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
