Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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