Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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