and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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