Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
