just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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