guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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