That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Walk of Shame today included voting.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
