Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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